A different kind of HR

Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

When people find out I'm a HR professional, they love to share their stories, mostly horror stories, of toxic work environments, terrible bosses, and dysfunctional or incompetent HR functions. I laugh along with them as they share funny anecdotes, empathise and encourage them if they find themselves in challenging circumstances, and provide insight and advice when invited to. All the while, I am thinking to myself 'it doesn't have to be this way'. 

Exhibit A

Recently a friend shared a story of a meeting that took place in her workplace. She works in an industry that is extremely pressured and complex. It is an industry that relies on its people to provide effective services to clients. The organisation and the industry are already struggling to attract and retain quality staff and yet the HR person at this organisation told the already struggling team, that if they had a problem - too bad - they could easily be replaced. 🥺🥺🥺

It doesn't have to be this way...

• Efficiency and effectiveness doesn't have to come at the cost of people (who are overworked and undervalued).
• Creating a healthy organisational culture isn't a warm and fuzzy thing that is nice to have. It is an essential component to creating sustainable effective and high-performing teams.
• HR does not have to be an either-or scenario, Team Management or Team Employee. HR can be both/and - A strategic partner for the organisation, to aid in the achievement of the organisation's goals and strategy, and influence and advocate for practices that will build a healthy culture and develop capabilities for individuals and teams to thrive. 

The 'old-skool' approach to HR is what gives the rest of us a bad wrap. An approach to HR that literally thinks about humans as resources and an HR function that operates as the organisational police, or worse, the organisational bully. 

But it doesn't have to be this way. And fortunately, there are growing numbers of HR professionals and organisations that recognise the value of HR as a strategic partner, that can help create cultures that people want to be a part of, and that can champion both people and an organisation's mission, vision and strategy.

Do you have a HR horror story or great HR experience?  Feel free to share it in the comments. 

A fresh page

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

 The cursor blinks at me as I grapple with how to summarise the last three years.

 So much change. 

So much growth and learning, pain and grieving, joy and heartache, the daily grind and adventure. 

And yet, there is so much that has remained constant.  My family and friends who love me generously. The kids who bring chaos, curiosity and fun to our lives. Timmy, continues to be the most wholehearted person I know, enabling those around him to discover more of who God has created them to be. And a God whose love is unchanging, gently guiding and leading through us through the valleys and the mountaintops. 

Now I find myself in a place where I am drawn to start writing again. I give myself permission to jump in, right where we are. No need to summarise the last three years. We'll catch up. It will leak out in the lessons learned, in the parts of me that have grown and changed. In the things that I now hold tighter to and the things that I have let go of. 

And so I open to the next fresh page. The cursor blinking with anticipation of what tomorrow brings. 

Em

Adjusting Expectations of Self

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Do you carry the burden of weight from expectations that you place upon yourself?
We all feel the weight of expectations at different times, and I don’t know about you but the expectations of others in my life are a far lighter load, than the ones that I often have for myself. 

Over the years I have had to learn (and relearn) to temper the expectations for myself. The compounding characteristics of an achiever with perfectionist tendencies, driven by high levels of responsibility without healthy boundaries and expectations, lead to nowhere good. Sometimes a slight adjustment is all that is needed. 

We’ve recently celebrated the arrival of a new baby for some friends. I’ve always loved the love language of food, and appreciated the gift of not having to think about how to feed myself and the family in the fog of life with a newborn. I held a brief picture in my head of me in my 1950s housewife apron, whipping up culinary delights that would be at home on the menu of a hatted restaurant...and then I realised that I was setting some unhealthy expectations for myself. It’s a struggle feeding my own family. I rely on meal delivery to limit the amount of time spent on decision making, grocery shopping and meal preparation. Trying to meet my own expectations was going to lead to one of two outcomes. I would either add a level of stress and activity to my life and life of family that was going to cause some sort of angst or because I couldn’t achieve the perfect outcome in mind, I’d do nothing.

Instead I decided on a third option and adjusted the expectations I had for myself. What was I really trying to achieve? I wanted the newly minted parents to feel loved and supported, and not have to worry about preparing dinner for a couple of nights. Could I achieve the same outcome without adding to life’s load? Yes. There are probably half a dozen ways that I could do this. I chose to purchase and deliver some delicious meals from a local small business. My friends weren’t expecting anything, the only expectations adding weight were my own.By slightly adjusting the expectations that I had for myself,  I was able to show my friends love and support without creating unrealistic expectations for myself. 

Are there areas of your life where you are carrying a burden of expectation that you have created for yourself? How could you adjust those expectations to achieve your hoped for outcome in a healthier way?

Have you found the freedom that comes from adjusting an expectation that you have for yourself? I’d love for you to share your story.

P.S  I also purchased a meal for my family too, which solved last night's dinner problem 😃

Top tips for facilitating online meetings

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Facilitating workshops, training and various types of meetings is something that I love to do. Many workplaces have had to move to digital spaces due to the current COVID-19 crisis, and are now using video conferencing software like Zoom to keep teams connected and to continue to work productively.

While there are definite advantages to online meetings, like being able to connect a geographically dispersed team, if you don't adjust your facilitation techniques to the digital space, your meeting participants, will be scrolling emails and watching TikToks before you know it and you won't even know it.

Recently I was asked to share my top tips with a group of workshop facilitators, and this is what they were:

1. Lift your energy levels - If you don't do anything else, do this!

Engaging your meeting participants for a sustained period requires additional energy. Just chatting with the screen in a large meeting will have people zoning out and checking their email or doing other things very quickly. My advice is to at least double the energy that you would normally present with so that it makes it through to the other side of the screen.

If you have one, work with your co-facilitator to create energy together – interact, ask questions, laugh at each other’s jokes :D

2. Be aware of your body language and in-frame distractions

Look directly at the camera where possible (rather than at a second screen or elsewhere in the room) so that people feel like you are talking directly to them. People have a tendency to forget that they are being viewed by an audience up close and personal on the screen. Be mindful of your body language - stretching, yawning, slumping in your chair, is all captured front and center.

While you might be able to get away with wearing your slippers, anything that is in frame can make or break the engagement of your participants. That goes for your background too - weird painting, school photo of you at 15, your pet guinea pigs - check that there's nothing too distracting in frame.


3. Work with a co-facilitator

For larger groups it is helpful to have a co-facilitator. Assign roles specific roles. For example, one person can host the meeting, and a co facilitator can monitor chat for questions and comments, be the one responding to technical queries and the phone calls letting you know that they can't get their sound working.


4. Use names

The advantage of Zoom and most video conferencing software is that the names of your participants are listed on the screen. Use names to direct questions and elicit comments from the group. Read the room, like you would in person. Do they look like they have a question or want to say something? Ask them.

5. Don't mute yourself

If you are the meeting host, co-host or facilitator, don't mute yourself (unless you're going to sneeze). Facilitators needs to be able to jump in, redirect, add comments and be conversational. Try to create as much natural energy and flow as possible. A moment missed or an awkward 5 seconds while you try to find the button to unmute can undermine that flow.


6. Leverage the software functions and outline protocols

Leverage the functionality of your software - use chat, polls and screen share functions to provide different ways for people to participate. As a host you can mute video and audio of participants. You may need to do these if people haven’t used Zoom before, or there’s too much background noise or other distractions - like the empty chair of the person who signed in earlier but is nowhere to be seen now.

At the beginning of your session, outline any protocols that you are going to use in the meeting, for example post your questions in the chat as we go, just jump in to comment or use the 'raise hand' function if you want to respond.

So Here Goes...

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I used to blog a fair bit over here and then we moved and I changed jobs. Life changed and I lost momentum and for some reason became a bit self-conscious. Despite this, over recent months I have felt the urge to start again. I've probably got about one hundred blog posts drafted in my mind and I've been fiddling around with the aesthetics of this blog for weeks but I still haven't posted.

This post by Sarah Bessey got me thinking about what's been stopping me from pressing the publish button and reflecting on why I started blogging in the first place and what keeps drawing me back. 

I started thinking about whether I had anything of value to write about. Was there any point in one more blog? My perfectionism crippled any creativity. What if my writing is no good? What if my punctuation is lousy? What if I get that apostrophe in the wrong spot? I regressed into an adolescent self-consciousness about what others would think of me if they did read my writing. What if people think I'm a tool just for having a blog? What if they don't like what I have to say? (Why is it so human to need approval from others?)

Here's the thing, even with all of that stuff in my head I still feel drawn to writing stuff down and posting it out there in the universe.

I blog because writing (even if it's not very good) is a creative outlet. I can't knit (or write) like Sarah Bessey. I can't paint or draw. But I love to read and write. I enjoy it and I get a sense of satisfaction from writing something and then publishing it. Writing helps me process the messy bits of life. It gives me an outlet to rant and rave and it gives my sweet husband a rest from my ear bashing. Writing helps me let go of things rather than holding them in my mind. I don't know about you but things can get cluttered up in here but if I write stuff down it allows me to let go.

And so here I am, about to press publish on my first post in a long time. Feeling good about doing something that for some reason, I just feel like I need to do it. And if by chance

you stumble across this little blog and it brings you some sense of encouragement or prompts you to think about something a little differently, that's a bonus. If you're bothered by my writing style, lack of punctuation, or lame content,  that's o.k too. I won't be offended if you click on out of here.

Have you been holding back from doing something that would bring you joy and satisfaction?

Understatement of the Year

In the 1986 movie Crocodile Dundee, Mick "Crocodile" Dundee calls out a would be street thug who is trying to hold them up at knife point by presenting his own, much bigger and more threatening knife, "That's not a knife. THAT's a knife". I don't even remember when I saw this movie but that particular line has played itself out in my mind numerous times this year.

At the beginning of the year, when we had some time away, I'd had some time to reflect on what 2017 might hold. I had a sense that it was going to be a pretty big year. I didn't really need to be too in tune with my spidey senses to get to that particular piece of insight. A quick inventory of all that we hoped to achieve in the year was enough (work, ministry, study for both Tim and I, family life which includes a busy two-year-old...well you get the picture).

And then we got to April...and we found out that we were pregnant...and then we found out it was twins...and then I felt like God had a great chuckle as he says to me, "that's not a big year. THIS is a big year". 

Prioritising Worship at Christmas

Worship Fully- Advent Conspiracy

The last few weeks before Christmas are always a bit crazy as work winds up and end of year functions are jammed in to the calendar. Last minute shopping becomes more urgent and the family gatherings begin. For quite a few years I felt pretty bah humbug about Christmas. Everything about it made me feel a little crazy. The frantic shopping, carols over the loudspeaker in October, way too much stuff I didn't need or want, and a very sad looking bank account. I felt stressed, tired and irritable at this time of year. Nobody wants that and I certainly didn't want to be experiencing it year after year.

We started exploring other ways of doing Christmas- picnic lunches, less gift giving and then I discovered Advent Conspiracy, a movement to encourage us to celebrate Christmas differently based on four tenets: worship fully, spend less, give more, love all. This gave me a way of reframing the advent season and helped me to resdiscover the joy of Christmas. 

The most transforming component of this in my life as been through the prioritizing of worship throughout advent. Perhaps you're thinking, "Isn't that obvious? Aren't you supposed to be a pastor's wife?"...but I know that for me and I'm guessing if you're honest, for you as well, it was been so easy to get distracted by the long 'to do' list and calendar of gatherings, that we've let worship slip right to the bottom of the list. The things that we place above worship seem honorable - it's about family, it's about spending time together. But these are the same things that those that do not know God prioritise at Christmas. We are called to '...seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:33). Even at Christmas.

It's cliched but Jesus is the reason for the season and therefore worship should be at the top of our priorities. And what I've discovered is that when I have placed  worship above the other trappings of Christmas you get to experience the peace, joy and love that we sing about in carols. 

I'm no longer irritated by carols in the shopping centre. I love that I can sing of God's good news  while I'm shopping. 

I don't find church and extra music practices a hassle. It's a chance to reflect on and celebrate God goodness.

I don't find all of the social engagements with friends and family wearing. I'm able to enjoy the company of whoever I am with out of the overflow that comes from the love that I know in Jesus.

So whether you've already set up your tent at your annual camping spot or whether you're still working and trying to figure out how you are going to get everything done, I encourage you to prioritise worship. Open God's word, spend some time in prayer, make worship at  a church service a part of your family Christmas traditions and "...all these things will be given to you as well".

Em