So Here Goes...

Photo by Simson Petrol on Unsplash

I used to blog a fair bit over here and then we moved and I changed jobs. Life changed and I lost momentum and for some reason became a bit self-conscious. Despite this, over recent months I have felt the urge to start again. I've probably got about one hundred blog posts drafted in my mind and I've been fiddling around with the aesthetics of this blog for weeks but I still haven't posted.

This post by Sarah Bessey got me thinking about what's been stopping me from pressing the publish button and reflecting on why I started blogging in the first place and what keeps drawing me back. 

I started thinking about whether I had anything of value to write about. Was there any point in one more blog? My perfectionism crippled any creativity. What if my writing is no good? What if my punctuation is lousy? What if I get that apostrophe in the wrong spot? I regressed into an adolescent self-consciousness about what others would think of me if they did read my writing. What if people think I'm a tool just for having a blog? What if they don't like what I have to say? (Why is it so human to need approval from others?)

Here's the thing, even with all of that stuff in my head I still feel drawn to writing stuff down and posting it out there in the universe.

I blog because writing (even if it's not very good) is a creative outlet. I can't knit (or write) like Sarah Bessey. I can't paint or draw. But I love to read and write. I enjoy it and I get a sense of satisfaction from writing something and then publishing it. Writing helps me process the messy bits of life. It gives me an outlet to rant and rave and it gives my sweet husband a rest from my ear bashing. Writing helps me let go of things rather than holding them in my mind. I don't know about you but things can get cluttered up in here but if I write stuff down it allows me to let go.

And so here I am, about to press publish on my first post in a long time. Feeling good about doing something that for some reason, I just feel like I need to do it. And if by chance

you stumble across this little blog and it brings you some sense of encouragement or prompts you to think about something a little differently, that's a bonus. If you're bothered by my writing style, lack of punctuation, or lame content,  that's o.k too. I won't be offended if you click on out of here.

Have you been holding back from doing something that would bring you joy and satisfaction?